Sharon Olsen

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RUN 2034 – HARE: MOUNTIE – CHISHOLM ST RESERVE ROTUNDA & EUREKA PIZZA

Virgin Scribe – so apologies if I missed details but this is hash, so I'm not really sorry, and at least I’m giving it a go.

Thirty or so Hashers assembled at the Chisholm St Reserve Rotunda for the first run under new the Grandmaster’s reign. The GMs, Nutcracker and D&C, handed out the new committee shirts “The Hash That Shagged Me” and off we disappeared into the dark for the run/walk. Torches were recommended but as usual, not everyone listened. After traipsing around the bush, the runners and walkers converged at the rotunda for a well-earned drink stop where Donuts was handing out Year of the Do Not stubby holders.

Welcomes Back included: Squizzy and Pimp. Get a life

Spencer Hocking started the sniffycunt runs but more were also read out by Juz Cum, Dr Death and Shafted. Sniffy runs included: Juz Cum 51, Rowdy 1270, Criss Cross 1031, Pebbles 587, Mrs D 666, D&C 232, Head Hunter 161, Quick Dick 160, Mountie 1082, Donuts 733, Half-a-bar 1255. 20 Toes & Hymn

Rowdy was then called upon to screw the run however he announced that he was shagging not screwing the run, “This was a shagalicious run that was well marked and had a bit of everything, hills, bush, shiggy and finished with a simultaneous climax. The bar has been set and hopefully all future runs are as good as this. Score: 1 Billion!” Shitty Trail

Sergeant Dr Death talked about Anzac Day and charged our New Zealanders and Serving Members who included: BP, Dumb n Dumber, Half-a-bar, Bad Hair Day, The Bill and Head Hunter. Give us an A

Charges from before the run included Pimp – for stretching, Pebbles – for having a birthday and Half-a-bar – for being the oldest Melbourne FC supporter. Get a life

Other charges included Juz Cum (not sure why), Donuts for arriving almost first at the start, now that he is no longer GM, BHD and Plucka for something about the horn. Sit on my Face

Squizzy and Half-a-Bar then told jokes that were actually kinda funny and weren’t too long. Build a Bonfire. Half-a-bar was also charged for creases in both the back and front of his jeans. 20 Toes

Charges from the run included Campaspe for being a touch precious crossing the river not wanting to get her shoes wet. Other charges went to Teflon and Gilf for coming out of the bush, pebbles for going into the bush, Precious re Campaspe, Spencer Hocking re Campaspe & Precious although he claimed to have not touched a child for years and The Bill for taking a short cut. Mrs Murphy

Charges from after the run went to Snag, Big Dog and Mountie who were made to walk home after a recent night out. No No No!

Next Week’s Run - Monday 3rd May 2021:

Num Num, the new trail master, then made demands for names for future runs before announcing that because no one else would do it, she was setting next week’s run from 103 Cuthberts Road, Alfredton (on the corner of Alfredton Drive) and will be taking orders for fish n chips after the run.