Jason Kelly

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RUN 2033 – AGM – PIANO BAR BALLARAT

Thirty-eight Hashers assembled at the Piano Bar to celebrate Donuts’ fuck off run. Donuts welcomed our 2 visitors, Mental Disorder and Menstrual Disorder, before passing the floor to Fascinator, our Hare for the evening, who began by telling us that he “may have fucked up, there will be a bit of a live hare”. Fourteen athletes completed the 4km run before converging with the fifteen walkers at the Titanic Memorial Bandstand for the well-stocked drinks stop.

Back at the Piano Bar there was a significant delay prior to the circle whilst Zoom technology was arranged to allow Bitch Face (Tassie), DnC (Qld) and Lois Lane and Pauline (Qld) to join us.

At 8pm Donuts called for reverence for the final time and welcomed back Big Dog, Fang, The Bill, Narelle, Gina, Pebbles and Randy Headjob Boy (Andy Pobjoy). They were joined by our visitors, Mental Disorder and Menstrual Disorder.  Get a life 

Bent Nose called up Fascinator to be screwed, “The run, despite the inclination, was not a fuck-up. How does One screw a Fuck-up who doesn’t fuck up? The only possible fuck-up was that he didn’t tell the Barflies the location of the drinks stop, which is not actually a fuck-up and should be applauded”. Ben Nose then concluded that “As the awards were last week there is no point to this screw, therefore there is no point to the score”  Shitty Trail 

Spencer Hocking acknowledged the sniffycunt runs: Mountie 1081 and Fascinator 181. So they didn’t drink alone he called Tommy Half-a-Bar to share how today’s date 19-4-21 could be significant… (take the 1 from the 9 equals 8, then you’re left with 8-4-2-1)  Sing a song of Hashers 

Sergeant Quick Dick’s first charge was Fop (moi); apparently QD was shitty that I didn’t include any of his charges from last week in the weekly blog. Just to piss him off even more I’ve decided not to include any of this week’s charges as well. I'm especially not going to include the charge from Spencer to Half-a-Bar for sitting in the quiet carriage of the train; or Mounties charge to Pus Bucket for complaining about a sore arm after his COVID vaccination (the jab was in his other arm). And finally, I’m not going to mention that Shafted, Dr Death and Tommy have spent the week “drilling in the paddock” (nothing to do with sodomy, they’re just locating the world’s greatest gold deposit… buy shares in their company now before everyone else jumps on the bandwagon)  Hymn, Hymn…

The night was getting late and the Zoom call was about to run out so to expedite the evening there were no drinks for the outgoing GM or his committee (all this typing and not even a beer). Then came the moment for Donuts to announce the new GM…

Nutcracker and DnC 
As DnC was on Zoom, co-GM Nutsy took the floor and announced that this year’s theme is “Yeah Baby” (cue Austin Powers music whilst DnC donned an Austin Powers wig and glasses). The committee was then announced as follows:

Choir Master – Rowdy

Screw – Mountie (the only new committee member who didn’t know who the new GM was going to be)

Scribe – Campaspee

Religious Advisor – Mrs Dickhead

Trail Master – Dumb n Dumber and Num Num

Hash Cash – Big Dog

Keeper of the Book – Just Cum

Grog Master – Donuts

Zoom Master – Spencer Hocking

Hash Haberdash – Lois Lane and Pauline

Hash Flash – Precious

Hash Horn – Plucka

Sergeant – Dr Death and Shafted

From there Andy Pobjoy (Randy Headjob Boy) did what he does best and kept the crowd dancing through the night.

Next Week’s Run: Mountie – Chisholm St Reserve, Black Hill. On after is at Eureka Pizza and Pasta.