Jason Kelly

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RUN 2031 – 5/4/21. COMMITTEE RUN FROM THE GRAPES HOTEL

The penultimate run of the Donuts regime coincided with our first non-daylight savings run since September 30th 2019; a time when most of us had never heard of Zoom meetings, QR codes, “social distancing” or coronaviruses. The past 12 months have been challenging for us all, but Hash prevailed through these uncertain times and there a sense of normality has returned. Credit and gratitude to both this year’s GM, Donuts, and Fascinator last year, for their agility in steering the Hash ship through these rough seas (they did a hell of a lot better than the Captain of the Ever Given).

27 Hashers arrived at the Grapes on this Easter Monday, with 14 runners and 8 walkers setting off on a 4.5km clockwise loop, reaching as far as Cobden St, before returning along the Yarrowee trail to the White Flat cricket ground. There we were treated to a well-stocked drinks stop and entertained by the Medieval Games taking place under the floodlights of White Flat. (SS said that back when he was a child medieval games were just called “Games”)

Back at the circle, Donuts welcomed back Normal, Her Vag, Fop, NBCL, Squizzy, DimWit, Dr Death and The Bill.  Get a life 

SniffyCunt runs: Plucka 303, Campaspee 70 (1 better than a 69)  this is your down down song 

After originally thinking he was going to screw Plucka, a disappointed stand in Screw, Shafted, then sung the screw to the old 80’s hit “He’s My Number One”. Whilst it took us a while to catch the tune it was a typically entertaining Shafted song describing how Donuts is our number 1, and awarded the run “ A 100 out of 100 is the highest mark you can score ”. (we won’t point out that the original was performed by Christie Allen and not Sheena Easton).  Shitty Trail 

Sergeant Quick Dick began his charges:

Squizzy – Holding the door shut to prevent us from leaving the pub

NumNum – Her torch batteries were in the drawer beside the bed (inside the vibrator)

Teflon – the only gentleman with a torch

 No No No 

QD then announced that he had a “compendium of charges" for Mountie, all revolving around being an Arsehole on the run and getting the pack lost. Whilst orating his compendium, QD made a few grammatical errors, and Dr Death was happy to correct them. QD then withdrew Mounties “Arsehole of the week” award and gave it to Dr Death.  Give us an Aye 

There were many charges from the floor including: NumNum and Dim Wit for using Hash Halts to their advantage, and Nutsy and DnC for being the best dressed Hash bar flies.  Do your tits hang low 

Squizzy then outwitted Dim Wit with his joke; He was looking up his ancestry online and his Great, Great Aunt had 15 children. Her name was Fanny Aiken  Mrs Murphy 

Dinner was then ready to be served, Next Week's Run is the Bus Trip. Meet at the City Oval at 6pm SHARP