Run #2207

Welcome to run #2207 Committee run from The Bunch of Grapes. 

We welcomed Juz Cum, Spartacus, Tahlia, Daniel back and let them drink with our virgin, Michael. 
The Sargent then asked the circle who’s significant run it was… apparently it was a huge number… a hash man… who we all loved and respected… 
By then we all knew it wasnt Bent Nose, so it must have been SS! 1900 RUNS!!! 

Teflon had the maths prepared: 
SS had ran 1900 runs in just over 41 years.
First run was run #8 on 30 May 1983. 
Attendance rate 86%(1900/2207)
If SS had an average of 3 beers at each hash night he would have consumed 5700 stubbies or 2137 litres of beer. 
If SS had run/walked a conservative average of 4 kms at each hash he would have travelled over 7600 kms just at Ballarat hash nights.
(equivalent to Sydney to Perth- and back again)
SS and the oldies of Hash spent some time retailing stories from the 80’s, and hash runs from the beginning. We also all got a shock to find out the story of SS’s name,which is not originally SS?! If you want to know, come along for SS’s 2000th run! 

Num Num came out to screw Disco and Precious (This screw has the lowest average age so far!)
Precious was quick to remind Num that Disco had set all the ‘bad bits’ which must have included the dead possum. 
Low Friction - The possum didn’t chase anyone 
Heat Resistant - SS (Sunshine Slit) is here, but there was no sunshine! 
Chemical Inertness - The possum was not likely to attack 
Hydrophobic - No water!
Non-stick - Num was the only one to trip (was she pushed?)
Everyone was able to find trail easily, except for Boner/ Renob who was keeping in theme and moonwalking the trail like he was still in the 80’s.
16/6 (Who knows why?)

The only thing to note I have listed was the naming of our virgin, son of Vanessa. 
The man formally known as Michael, is now a hash man known as Deakin. 
We are all very proud to have SS in our club, you are a good hash man SS. Can’t wait to see you make 2000 runs. 

Next weeks run (tomorrow)
Pink Bits and Vanessa from Flying Horse Bistro! (You should all know what the dress code is…? PINK)
ON ON 

Run #2206

 Welcome to Run #2206 Mountie from Mt. Xavier Golf Club 

The circle started by reflecting on the past week, the committee had a midweek meeting to plan exciting events for the coming year (details to come!) and our lovely GM has proposed a new award!! The Brownlow of Blockheads will be awarded on Brownlow night, votes will be collected and collated weekly. So everyone better be on their best, or worse, behaviour until then!. 

Campaspe received her 200 run vest, as we all forgot her during the AGM :( 

Num Num came forwards to screw Mountie and we all got very excited! 

Low Friction: its a golf course, plenty of people almost ended up in holes. 

Low Water Absorption: Thank god there was no water in those holes!

Heat Resistant: Everyone got frost bite, brrrrr. 

Chemical Inertness: The front runners were attacked by a kangaroo

Non Stick: Cinderella fell, twice… 

Hydrophobic: Homophobic… Cinderella fell twice! 

6/6 yay! 

All hashers with alliterative names were charged, there goes all the beer.  

Immaculate Conception has been known for telling bad jokes every week but is now taking on the role of fortune teller, as he predicked Cinderellas great falls. 

Campaspe was charged for curing cancer or something…? 

Mountie was charged for her DNF and her fall, didn’t bounce like Cinderella did. 

Rowdy also DNF but was less funny. 

GM Teflon and GILF were charged for doing the nasty for 10 years! 

Precious was charged for his multitasking skills of being fill in grog master, and being funny! 

Spencer Hocking has stoped caring about numbers so i charged him and his palindromic friends, 123 runs for Immaculate Conception, 444 runs for GILF and 50 runs for Cinderella.

At this point Renob returned, yay! 

Next weeks run, Committee Run! Bunch of Grapes on Pleasant Street. 80’s theme for SS’s 1900th run! 

Pencil it in: July 29 mystery bus tour, details to come 

Run #2205

 Welcome to Run #2205, 

We made this circle quick as dinner was on its way! 

Num Num came to screw the GM for his Committee Run, 

Nummy asked Carpet Burns to hold the score card as we all know Carpet Burns had very little FRICTION! (Unless its a shag) 

Carpet Burns is also NON STICK and ABSORBS very little water. 

Nummy claims that there was a CHEMICAL ATTACK, as Vanessa was taken down by a blackberry bush mid run and bleed out the whole way home. 

No one fell over, but that was only because Mountie wasn’t here. 

The run was HEAT RESISTANT if you dressed correctly. 

No rain! 

GM guessed 5/6, and was right! 

The committee were charged first, and we drank all the beer. Just kidding! Sort of… 

We welcomed people back (after the screw, who knows why) 

Deep Heat, Carpet Burns, D&C, Doddle Nuts and Big Dog. 

The Sargent came forwards (with 11 minutes to spare) and said some things.

Squizzy was charged for looking like a 1970’s porn star, then we noticed that Deep Heat was matching! I think I’ve seen that video… Yuck! 

Dumb was charged for sitting in the circle but the charge was rebounded as per his namesake.      

Nut Cracker charged Big Dog for buying some new puppies for his Wolfpack. 

Precious charged Pigs Arse for a run two weeks ago, but Pigs Arse wasn’t there so Cinderella took the drink.  

Bent Nose charged GILF because her teeth got too cold on the walk, Bent offered helpful advice, “Close your fucking mouth, that’ll help” 

Someone asked what GILF’s job was on the committee, it’s either security or transport as she makes the GM cum to Hash. 

Vanessa was charged for being influenced by Pink Bits and having pink hair after the school colour run. 

Squizzy was charged for being premature on trail and was very keen for a sing. As we all laughed, I heard Immaculate Conception confuse ‘premature’ and ‘immaculate’ which I think says a lot about his personality.

Next weeks (tomorrow’s) run is Mountie from Mt Xavier Golf Course 118 Fortune Street. 

ON ON 

Run #2204

 Master Bait and Normal from the Band Stand near GC's 

The GM started the circle stating that no one was welcome, apparently, its gotta be two weeks or more nowadays. 

Num Num came out to Screw the boys, 

People got lost, it was NOT Non-Stick. 

A homeless person was found on trail, they were slow-moving! No, it wasn't heavy...

Was it heat resistant? Well, it was fucking cold! 

No Chemical Attacks as we think all potential attackers were dead and inside SMB. 

I'm sure Nummy said more but god knows my fingers were too cold to type it all! 

it was the first PERFECT SCORE 

Hashy Birthday GM Teflon <3 

The Sargent came fowrads, to not screw the run although that's what the GM told him to do... 

Bent Nose and BP went to the Pictures for a hot date night. They sat alone in the theatre, snuggling in the back row of seats, in the dark... imagine their screams of delight to see Campaspe before them on the screen. A real movie star in our Hash?! Never!!! 

The GM thanked the loudest of the committee, Spencer Hocking, Rowdy and Num Num for helping out last week while he was away. 

Run #2203

  Welcome back to run 2203, we circled after dinner. How weird! Squizzy from Sebas Bowles Club

 

As our lovely GM was away (SHAME), we used the power of loud men! Thank you kindly for filling in Spencer Hocking.

The late circle started by welcoming back Rear Entry.

The run was summarised, “Squizzy, what a total fuck up of a run!” It is in the running for shit-house run of the year.

Apparently, Squizzy claimed, at the first of two drink stops, that the runners should arrive in about 2 minutes. Twenty minutes later he set off in the sad-sounding car to find them. And that wasn’t even the worst of the run!

Non – Stick

No one could find trail, maybe the trail didn’t stick to the run?

Chemical inertness

No one attacked us, but they did come out of their homes to watch us and point us in the wrong direction.

Low Absobs

I didn’t listen, let's blame the beer…

Heat Resistant

It was fucking COLD

Low friction

“Did anyone get lost? Did anyone fall over?”

WE ALL GOT LOST! 

5/6

The run was promised to be 5.4ks but was either 5.5ks, 6.2ks or 6.8ks. Who knows!?

 

Boner was left behind on trial, a fate much worse than death, but the charge was rebounded for Nutbush Clitty Licker coming to find him. A true hero!

We all told Juz Cum and Spartacus told FUCK OFF YOUS CUNTS as they head off on a lovely trip.

Num Num had made her way inside early from the drink stop, while poor old Bent Nose stood outside, in the cold, waiting for her with her stubby holder.

Then the beers really kicked in, and I got too tipsy to be awake, funny AND taking notes.

Next weeks run (tonight’s run) Master Bait and Normal from the Band Stand near GCs. On After at Eureka!

 

ON ON 

Run #2202

Carpet Burns from the North Brit Hotel 

We gathered the circle together and Num Num screwed Carpet Burns (something we would all pay to see!)

No one fell over! No friction.

Juz Cum got attacked! Chemical Interness scored badly. 

Juz Cum had sticky blood all over her, no amount of water could get it off. Low Water Obsorbsion. 

Carpet Burns was hot? Maybe? Heat Resistant. 

The run scored 5/6 (don't ask me what one I missed) 

We retraced our steps and made sure to welcome everybody back, 

FOP, Deep Heat, Boner/Renob, Dr Death and Nurse Batshit (who couldn't be fucked to join us outside), DoodleNuts, Rear Entry, Big Dog and Pebbles! 

Our Sergeant came forwards and was bemused (I spelt that one right while shitfaced, yay me!) 

We were told the run heads West or East... Lucky for us, Boner went North! 

Rowdy was called and charged out for running a casual 23 ks over the weekend while training for Hash. Mountie added to that Her Vag was also caught training for Hash, but ended up winning a race instead. Mountie came second, and Snag confirmed this was a common occurrence for her.

DnC was charged for selling a car online. "In good condition" and so is the car! 

Juz Cum was attacked (pushed into the tree). I think Dr Rowdy just needed to fill his schedule for the next day. 

Carpet Burns was charged for being a short-cutting cunt on the walk, and wasting her own time as she had set a walking trail. 

Precious was charged for worrying us all saying he saw trail miles away on Webster Street and tried to get us all lost. 

Bent Nose fell for the classic blunder when Deep tried to charge Head Hunter and Quick Dick, Bent took the beer happily. Head Hunter then showed up, and then quickly left again. 

We sang a stupid sportsperson song for Rear Entry 

My notes ended with "I am so confused" so the beers must have kicked in.  

I am planning to catch up on the scribing ASAP, how dare I finish uni assignments instead... 

ON ON