Bevan Kelly

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Run #2091, 23 May 2022

Mrs Dickhead from the Grapes Hotel.

The run set out through out the pleasant Mt Pleasant area. It was later revealed that the run managed to short cut whilst remaining on trail.

Back at the Grapes, Pusbucket showed off his new, if a little late, committee shirts. They were given to the new committee of:

- Pusbucket

- Sergeants Spencer and Quick Dick

- Screw Campaspe

- Hash Cash Big Dog

- Trail Master Rowdy

- Grog Master Spartacus

- Choir Master Mrs Dickhead

- Hash Horn Teflon

- Scribe Precious

- Keeper of the Book the Bill

- And Religious Advisor Nutcracker

With these shirts, Pusbucket announced It’s Time for a new era of Hash, built upon it’s fundamental first rule (no poofters) and bringing forth a structured lifestyle. 8 hours of work, 8 hours of rest, and 8 hours of Hash. With this the new committee was taken away. (Scomo was his name-o).

With the screw absent, Nut Bush Clitty Licker took the stage as the stand in screw. NBCL stated that the run went up some hills and it went down some hills. It was also noted that the run was in the fabulous east and was “probably in the shape of a phallus”. The overall score for the run was declared to be the “same as the liberal party primary vote”. (Shitty trail).

Welcome backs for Rear Entry, SS, Road Runner, Dr Death and Paul Bearer. Without either of his Sergeants, Pusbucket took agency and stood in as the sergeant. His first charge was to Bent Nose. It was explained that Bent Nose’s riding group had noticed something amiss with Bent and inquired what was wrong. Bent told them that BP had cut back sex to once a week, to which they responded, “consider yourself lucky, she’s cut some of us out altogether”. (No no no)

NC was then bought out the front as she advised that anyone who was having relationship issues could go to her for advise and hand relief. While out the front, Pusbucket took the opportunity to explain the differences between men and women. Using geography, Pusbucket explained that up to 20, women are like Africa, dark and exciting. Up to 30, they’re like Spain, warm and inviting. To 40, they’re like France, sophisticated. And up to 50 and beyond, they’re like Australia, arid and dry. But men are like North Korea and Russia their entire lives, ruled by 2 nuts. (The wiggle of her ass).

Mountie then charged the GN/Sergeant Pusbucket. In a visual charge, Mountie showed an Australian article that stated women “don’t want a Snag in the lodge, they want a date”. Mountie pointed out that she wanted a Snag in the lodge. (There’s a game called 20 toes).

Scomo was then awarded a “not my job” board. However, it was mentioned that this board was unfair as Scomo was acting as the Hash Cash and Grog Master. Pusbucket commended Big Dog for “doing the work of 3 men, too bad their names are Moe, Larry and Curly”. (Scomo was his name-o).

Nutcracker was charged because, at the drinkstop, J2 had stated that Mrs D that he had thought FOP was coming up to the esky, only to realise that it was actually NC. Mrs D herself was then charged for not having any halts on her run. While she was out the front, some hashers also took the opportunity to note that Mrs D had reprinted the Hash song book and decided which songs she liked best, because some songs appeared more than once in the book. (Give us an aye).

Juscum was charged for being overheard saying that at Hash “there were no John Kerrs… but plenty of Wayne Kerrs”. Tommy Half a Bar was then bought out the front as a devout Liberal believer. It was mentioned that Tommy spent 8 hours on election day at the polling booths. Shafted said that he found the process confusing as well, but it didn’t take him 8 hours to vote. Dr Death was then seen out the front and had a hard time deciding whether he was out the front because he was a liberal believer or a Wayne Kerr. (What a wank).

Teflon was the final charge of the night. Hash was regaled with the tale of Teflon at the Drink Stop stating he couldn’t fit it in his stubby holder because it was too big and he couldn’t get it out because it was too dry. (Finnish drinking song).

Next weeks run is Fascinator’s run from the Stag Hotel in Learmonth. *Heavy beer and ice TBA*

2Jason Kelly and 1 other