Sharon Olsen

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RUN #2071, 10 JANUARY 2022

HARE: GILF – LOCATION: NUGGETY DAM

While this run was labelled 2072 in the book and our GMs called it run 2072, last week was run 2070 and unless I’m missing something, I would like to suggest that this is more accurately represented as run 2071.

26 Hashers signed the book and gathered at Nuggety Dam on a lovely warm evening for this weeks run. There was a 5km run and a 3-4 km walk through the bush that returned us to the well-stocked DS that was located back where we started. We had quite a long hash circle as we were waiting for Gilf to return with our dinner (salad rolls), so I will try to make the best of the 10 pages of notes that were taken.

Hash Circle began with Mountie screwing the run. Mountie began with a joke about all the pills that Gilf takes with one to counter the effects of the other and finished with one that makes her horny which requires Teflon to take the blue pills . The following scores were awarded: Venue 25 (Mountie likes the bush), Terrain 25 (Mountie also likes the hills), Marking 5, Drink Stop 20, Groovy Factor -5 (Snag didn’t clean her Moot very well – to which Snag quietly said that she usually has a lady twice a week for that ). Total Score: 70.  Shitty Trail  .

Sniffy Runs that were mentioned were: Teflon on 269 and Half-a-bar on 1273. There was then discussion of the date being 10-1-22. Where 10 + 1 is 11 and if you double that, you get 22. Half-a-bar was charged but as he was driving, Criss Cross, you’ll do.  You’re Stupid  .

QD was called as stand-in sergeant, which was notable as Shafted was actually here. We also had HH as stand-in choir master and Spencer as stand-in Grog Master. QD then charged Fang for arriving on a motorbike with only one boot on. QD also charged The Bill for refusing to drive on the dirt road and then added the joke, what’s the difference between a SUV and a porcupine? ....Porcupines have pricks on the outside .  Mrs Murphy  . The GM’s were then charged for forgetting to welcome back Shafted.  This is your down down song  .

Moving on to charges from before the run, Criss Cross charged Num Num for something to do with the plague in the middle ages, where there were too many rats, but now there’s not enough rats. Mrs D then charged Her Vag for her long 7km trail last week that she completed on her own, including all the on backs.  Do your tits hang low  .

Dumb then charged Pebbles, but because he wasn’t here, D&C, you’ll do, for asking if there was any water at his garage (it was flooded in the recent rain). The Bill then charged D&C for something??? And QD charged Wee Problem for being the only one present with no hash gear. Mountie then charged Juz Cum for not allowing Spartacus back into their house while recovering from covid-19. Precious then charged Mountie because Snags was a close contact but Juz Cum wasn’t.  20 Toes  .

Bad Hair Day then charged The Bill for being seen driving about town on his own with a mask on and Precious was charged for getting his Grandma to drive him to Hash. Num Num then charged Gilf for her alarm going off and questioned if it was tablet time, but it was just time for her to go and collect dinner.  No No No  .

Moving on to charges from the run, QD charged Dumb for his hot tip on the wild card entry in the Manus Island Tennis Open and Mrs D charged Num Num for something about invasion day and BHD taking the knee on the run (BHD fell over and had scraped his knee).  You’re Ugly  . Shafted then charged Nutcracker and Num Num for their recent hair do’s making them more rootable.  They Ought to be  .

This was followed by charges from QD for Precious for starting late and running to the front after short cutting and for Teflon for shouting Hash Hole on trail, that sounded like Hash Halt.  Give us an A  . QD then also charged NBCL, Mountie and Wee Problem for not stopping at a Hash Halt and requested water for their drink and asked the entire hash circle to turn their backs to them.  No No No  . Dumb then charged Precious for only coming to Hash to get 5 beers for $5 and he was also given water for his down down.

Mrs D then charged Juz Cum and The Bill because The Bill had been telling a story about kneeing someone in the nuts and fu@$ing them which made Juz Cum spit her beer on Mrs D. Num Num was also charged for spending time on trail on her phone (was she trying to call an uber?).  Finnish Drinking Song  .

Shafted then charged Hash Cash so he could pay for this weeks run as he couldn’t be bothered walking over to him. D&C then told us that she had a call from Dim Wit who had asked why Novak had paid for his flights on mastercard?....Because his visa was cancelled . Shafted then charged Half-a-bar for the absence of creases in his trousers.  Mrs Murphy  .

This was followed by a joke from Fang about why Baked Beans were going to Queensland?... Because they like living in Cairns . SS and Precious then both had jokes to tell but our Sergeant said that SS had to tell his joke first because SS might forget it if he has to wait . Teflon then bought out the dickhead of the week award. Nominees were: The GM’s for not recognising the sergeant. They won uncontested. D&C then wanted to take the award and not share it, because Nutcracker’s got one at home.  Mrs Murphy  .

Pauline then charged Dumb for his recent flood and for wanting to get in early for a car wash. Precious then charged HH for a comment made at the end of the run. Half-a-bar said that Juz Cum was doing a great job with the book, but you need to be careful not to be too good or you’ll end up like HH, being choir master forever.

Next weeks run was then discussed, it will be set by Penny Farthing and will set of from the Market Hotel. See later post/email from Num Num for further information.

Next Week’s Run – Monday 17 January 2022 – Hare: Penny Farthing, Location: Market Hotel.