Matthew Gibney

Admin · 47 mins

Run 1971, The Cricket Run, Hare Pus Bucket, from the Den @ City Oval.

Lois Lane 900 Runs, Lois Lane 65th birthday. What an event!

After an hour of mid summer drizzle, a good crowd of enthusiastic athletes (with some notable welcomes back) attended for the annual and hotly contested Ballarat HHH Cricket match, with perpetual trophy. Reigning champions Stubby and Rowdy were hamstrung by Stubby's last minute call in to work, and Rowdy deflated by Free Wiilie's non attendance, curtailing any spontaneous repeats of last years' post match celebratory laps.

But first the run. Fuckinator turned up just in time to look like a wanker in his suit and tie, complete with name badge. Undeterred, he nominated the efforts of Lois as amazing, prior to calling on the hare to describe the run.

"Just like any sex you've had in the past 10 years", was the call, and he didn't disappoint. Brief, perfunctory even, and over almost before it started. Plukka hadn't even warmed up by the time most were finished, and had to take the Bill on a lap of the lake to satisfy her urges. For the rest it was a simultaneous climax, the walkers somehow managing to short cut the runners and arrive at the drinkstop together at 1852 hours. 'Twas a good day for Shafted to turn up on time.

The cricket match followed, with an orderly progression of batters and bowlers, and the usual skill highlights and lowlights on display. MastaBait's sharp catch (but not a patch on the Dimwit CLASSIC of last year), Spence throwing down the middle stump from a fair distance, and Pimp being hit fair smack in the nuts while batting caught the eye.

All adjourned to the Den for the circle, where a more appropriately dressed Fuckinator held court.

Three visiting runners (whose names still escape me, {possibly Terry, Donna, Limousine ??}) were acknowledged. (Build a Bonfire, put the Kiwis on the top...)

Welcomes Back to: Nutcracker, Butt Fuck, Immaculate Conception, Rear Entry & Road Runner (.. Like the Tiger of old, we're strong and we're bold..)

Shafted screwed the run with a presentation a short as the event.The punchline from "Too drunk to Fuck" by the Dead Kennedys seemed appropriate..

Mountie then took the stage. 1971.

Mrs D born, East High went on strike ( perhaps even 1972) - Spence, Pus Bucket, Spartacus, Road Runner - "what a wank". Swiss women allowed to vote (multiple), Evonne Goolagong Australian of the Year (nummy), Idi Amin in the headlines (fuckinator), Evel Knievel jumped cars and /or busses on his motor bike (teflon). Half a Bar pointed out he and Bait had a horse that won twice at Flemington. The most stirring rendition of God save the Queen followed, notable for those who didn't join in, Mountie as she is an avowed republican, and Butt Fuck because she doesn't know the words.

"I am Spartacus" was heard from the crowd as Hass had a beer in honour of Kirk Douglas. Mountie was charged for all the photos she took with her finger covering the lens, Precious for running every single on back , BP for her Mary Poppins umbrella, and Nutcracker for saying "I'd like to get down his Member's End and face a couple of Balls". NBCL arrived soon afterwards.

Pus Bucket then announced the cricket awards, initially wearing a gonad protector Hannibal Lecter like on his face, then replaced with a GENUINE Jeff Thompson Baggy Green. The scribe got to touch it and didn't wash his hand until he next peed.

Big Dog’s pounding down like a machine.Precious making divots in the green.Spencer's takin’ wickets.Masta’s clearing pickets.
And the Kiwi girls have got that killer gleam.

Mrs Dickhead’s playing havoc with the bats.Road Runner, it’s good to see ya back.Pimp is making runs.Doctor's chewing gum.
And Bent is wielding willow like an axe.

C’mon Aussie, c’mon, c’mon
C’mon Aussie, c’mon, c’mon
C’mon Aussie, c’mon, c’mon
C’mon Aussie, c’mon.

"There's two teams out there, and none of them's playing cricket"

Pebbles and Pimp were crowned the winners, after their masterful all round display of Batting, bowling and fielding. The Bat was reverentially presented to the deserving victors. Well done.

The joke of the night concerned the Sillic-like tribal chief, who failed to heed the lesson "You can't kill two birds with one stone".

And Lois was celebrated for her dual accomplishment of 900 runs and 65 years.

Real Gourmet sausages were an appetiser to the well cooked Hamburgers (thanks Normal and Campaspe), with fresh salad and buns; a perfect accompaniment to cold rolled Coopers Original Pale Ale across the bar.

Next week we get serious and watch Teflon & GILF join the Summer Bush Run Honour Board with a BUSH RUN from their house in Invermay (Taylor Court). The weather report looks promising alread