Run 1954 Hare Spencer Hocking, from the Den at the City Oval.
Doctor Death Dodges His Duty
Penned in on the runsheet as a Dr Death run, the Hash arrived full of fervour to the City Oval to find Shafted in flustered attendance, the nominal hare missing up north impersonating Walter White, and floor so sticky that the stools were stuck in place. "Not my fault" said Shafted; "Not my fault" said the wonderful and familiar bar help who really knew how to roll a Coopers stubby before breaking the seal; "Not my fault" said the absent Trail Master to the absent Grand Master.
Luckily amidst all the denial Spencer Hocking stood up and made a silk purse from a sow's ear, set the run, hosted the drinkstop, arranged the finest spring day for many a year, and rode the trail on his clown bike.
Mr Quick Dick had an audition for the GM job next year, and was left three lengths behind at the gate when he asked for "Hash Hush". WTF??
Welcomes back were largely self reported: Dame Edna, Chriss Cross, Road Runner, Fang, Sillic Unt, and Big Dog. Then the run commenced, a splendid Spencer spiral which had all guessing until we fell into his back yard for the drink stop, and were mesmerised by his dear wife Rat's Arse who was on to her 3rd generous Chardonnay in half an hour. Now that's a life style.
The circle commenced with down downs for the welcomes back ("Nu")
Shafted took to the sticky floor, lamented the Dr Death let down, but appreciated his contribution to the consistency of the floor covering. Confirmation from behind the bar that he was often seen coming into the Den, was aided by a bashful Bitchface who confusedly agreed that she missed him.
Anyway: "What a great Run!", "Very Interesting", "High chance of shit hot run of the year". Shafted then ran out of material, pretended to look in his notebook for inspiration, asked for a joke - Snag to Mountie after she came home with $200.50: "What arsehole gave you 50 cents?". Mountie" All of them". - then presented Sillic with a ball in a bag found outside St Patrick's. Sillic pocketed the gift.
SHITTY TRAIL
Sergeant Mountie:
1954, Pauline and Road Runner born. Marilyn Monroe and Jo Di Maggio marry (BF and Big Dog). Bill Haley sang Rock around the Cock (Head Hunter and Quick Dick) - "Build a Bonfire".
Sillic was given the Teddy Whitten Drink to commemorate the Bulldogs 1954 VFL Premiership. Bent, Mountie, Pus Bucket and Rowdy joined him for dressing in theme. "What a wank"
Charges from before the run: Lois for leaving her keys in the car, Dame Edna for participating in the Melbourne bike hash by taxi. "Ya stupid"
Birthday drink for Mrs Dickhead, face plant charge to Bitch Face ( or Bitch Faceplant), show us your gash to Big Dog.
More charges abounded until Big Fucker Pauline charged Head Hunter and Mrs D after the rugby world cup results, All Blacks and England to meet in Fukushima, Ireland and the Wallabies to meet at the airport. Pauline was then made to drink for the white ribbon debacle, and Teflon was given the free Dr Death Beer.
A solemn down down for recent hash departures, Darwin Don, and Dobbie. {They tried to go to Heaven but they went the other way}.
Way too much pizza then arrived, followed by way too much garlic bread. Some will be eating cold pizza all week.
Next week the Grand Master will grace us with his absence again, and Exit and Glider will set the trail in pen and paper from the City Oval Hotel.
Be sure to wash your shoes.
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