Run #2211

 Welcome to Run #2211 Cinderella/ Randolph from The Cattle Yard Inn

The circle started by welcoming Max, the virgin, and Joy-Bell and Steam - Shoes (who has ran ‘around 2034 runs with Peninsula Hash!) 

Num Num came forwards to do her thang, 

Non Stick - Hare stick to the front of the pack, not thinking about the rest of us at all! 

Hydrophobic - Plenty of water on the ground but no rain! 

Low friction - No falling while on trail but virgin Max did jump a fence, his own fence, to get a beer mid run. 

Chemical Inertness - We tried to attack the hare (who was up the front) with very little success. 

Low Water Absorption - Minimal marking on trail, possibly because of the water underfoot. But surely you should have access to plenty of chalk with a teacher as a mother?! 

4/6 booooo

Very low 

Then the lovely Bent Nose stepped into the circle, dressed in his fancy Sargent fit and called upon young Carpet Bags, or Burns. No one knows! Apparently she is desperate for hares, so desperate that she was seen humping Normal in hopes of a favour. 

Our GM, Teflon, had been praying to SS, the Religious Advisor this week for the safe return of the Book. SS came through and brought her home. 

I was told Nummy is very excited to take that box home now! And Spencer Hocking claims that Rats Arse has a bigger one at home. 

Someone noticed that Oscar Piastri was present at circle, and then a sporting joke was made… 

Someone dobbed Normal in for being a cunt on trail and not calling correctly, but I wasn’t surprised! 

Disco was charged for putting darts in his head like our pub mates, Mountie was charged for drinking too much. But that does feel a bit hypocritical at hash… 

Carpet Burns and Doodle Nuts were charged for only walking 600 meters, Nut Bush and Nut Cracker were charged for being DILDO’s (Double income, little dog owners). And Vanessa was charged for claiming she’s cutting back her drinking, then jumping right into the drink stop.  

Next Weeks Run  

Christmas in July from the Den (City Oval Club Rooms!) 

Dress in your best!  

Run #2210

 Welcome to Run #2210 Spartacus from Irish Murphy’s

We welcomed back Hashers: 

Puss Bucket, Nurse Batshit and Dr Death.  

The Seated Circle welcome Num Num out to screw,

The Run was non stick because normal was our leader and he walked us into a Massage Parlour, thank god no one screamed!

It was bloody cold, Heat Resistant for sure!

We had no Chemical Attacks while exploring Time Zone.

Lots of Water, must be Hydrophobic. 

6 out of FUCKING 6.

After the Screw we all looked to our Sargent who did not have one fucking charge from the run. SHAME! So Nummy stole his thunder, she reminded us how when the old men of hash entered the Massage Parlour, they were back out within 10 seconds… interesting that…?

The circle sang to the pair of 25 year olds, then i drank some more… 

I have memory of the Richmond Theme Song… Rear Entry Must have been around. 

I was on the floor. 

Next Weeks Run Cinderella/ Randolph from Cattle Yards. 

ON ON 

Run # 2209

 Welcome to Run #2209 Ms Dickhead from The Royal Mail Hotel 

The circle began with GM telling us all to form a cue before Carpet Burns, she has plenty of holes needing to be filled. 

Please let her know what runs you can hare, she is getting desperate!  

Num Num was chomping at the bit to screw Ms D: 

Non stick - Dog shit on trail, was it Big Dog? Who’s to say? 

Moist conditions led to low water absorption, 

Low friction - the dog shit made it grippy 

Heat Resistant - So god damn cold, but Teflon is also resistant to freezing, lucky us!  

Boner would have walked further if he wasn’t getting so wet - Low water Absorption 

I forget the rest! 

6/6

We welcomed back hashers:  

Bent Nose, BP, Spartacus, Donuts, Spencer Hocking.

We also acknowledged the passing of Bent Noses mum, we are all behind you xx 

I had too much fun during this circle, so you’ll never know what went down.

In place of a failed attempt of a Mystery Bus Trip, we will have a Christmas in July run July 29th, keep your eyes posted.  

ON ON 

Run #2208

 Welcome to Run #2208 Pink Bits and Vanessa from the Flying Horse 

We started with welcome backs, 

Plucker, Wendy, Big Dog, Her Vag, FOP, and Pebbles. 

GM gave his sad announcement that the Mystery bus Trip that had been penciled in for 29/7 is now canceled. But a new and better trip is being planned!

The circle took a moment to remember Heavy who we lost 9 years ago before Num Num came forwards to screw me!

Non Stick - Didn’t stick to the trail and got lost, 

Low friction - slowing down moving objects Mountie went over some humps, my lovely lady lumps and slowed her down, 

Heat resistant - no heat out there at all!  

Chemical intentness - someone by the name of Rodger took a few of the younger hash people off to the side, did a piss with them, attacking them with piss? It was Hydrophobic, Homophobic it was RODGER! Lucky no one got attacked, no one got Rodgered.  

Low Water Absorption - Everyone is wet!  

5/6

The stand in Sargent had some funny thing to say but i had already had a charge by this time so my notes are worse than usual (and they are usually bad!) 

Wendy, Doodle Nuts and Disco all don’t know how to swing low. Then Wendy showed us all her premature drinking trick.

Big Dog become a dog dad, Mountie used her old person card for a discounted meal, I was finally able to lose Boner/Renob on trail, and Campaspe was a kiss ass by driving Rowdy home.   

Someone made a sports person reference abut Daicos brothers, but we have Dickhead brothers here, I am so confused! 

Keeper of the Book or GM fucked up again, none noticed Head Hunters 250 Runs or Immaculate Conceptions 125. SHAME! 

Nutsy fell for the classic stitch up, again… 

Next Weeks Run will be Ms Dickhead from The Royal Mail Hotel Sebas. 

ON ON