Jason Kelly

Sovereign H3 - Members Only

utSponSssored2h  · 

Run # 2010; COVID run # 34; Nov 30th 2020. Rowdy from Codes Forrest Rd.

34 Hashers (including 14 runners and 15 walkers) set off at precisely 6:30pm on a glorious late Spring evening for a loop trail around the crests of the Nerrina State Park. Trail had some challenges with plenty of hills, shiggy (there was a puddle that looked like a map of Australia) and lost trail, but the tranquil bushland and vista overlooking Ballarat’s West made the trek an enjoyable one. The runners and walkers followed roughly the same trail and we were well rewarded with a cold beer at the end (thanks for the O’Brien’s Rowdy, it was greatly appreciated by this scribe ).

Back at the circle our RA, Fascinator, announce his post-COVID return by dressing as a Gregorian Monk and leading us in some comedic prayers and responses (check out FaceBook for the video)

Donut’s then welcomed everyone and announced SniffyCunt runs: Mrs D 646; Pauline 292 (both palindromic and the digit sum equal to the square root of 169); Her Vag 169 and Bad Hair Day 1100.  Give us an Aye

Bent’s screw was short and sharp “It started well downhill, then the run went downhill because of all the uphill!” Bent then spoke of the PTSD he was suffering from the last run there and that the confusing trail meant that a “better man than I got lost!”… “Overall, though, a very pleasant with a total score of 298m; the vertical elevation of the starting point of the run” (isn’t “vertical elevation” a tautology??). Some suggested that the score should have been the overall vertical displacement, which is zero.

 Shitty Trail

Sergeant Quick Dick then commenced charges:

Cris Cros – taking Quick Dick on an Odyssey though the forrest (they were the 2 late comers)

Fop – leaving the money tin out whilst on the run

Mountie – insisting the run starts at 6:30pm (despite the evidence on Normal’s shirt that says 6:45pm start)

 Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy

Spencer charged Nut Cracker – "it looks like she’s headbutted a tree and ended up with a streak of Ash in her hair". This was rebounded to Spencer who’s whole head looks like it’s speckled with ash.

Lois charged Bent Nose who talking to himself on the run; it was forgivable until he started to correct his own grammar

 Give us an Aye

Mountie charged Susie Q for stealing Normal’s “Year of the Bra” T shirt.

Bent charged both NBCL and Bad Hair Day for their reverse haircuts.

 There’s a game called 20 toes

Quick Dick (still traumatised at the thought of dying alone on trail whilst wearing an Essendon shirt) charged Cris Cros because he “finds trail and fucks off without calling OnOn”. So Cris didn’t drink alone QD also charged Shafted for “Only blowing the horn at the end of the run”

Nummy then charged Plucka for wearing fishnet stockings on the run

 This is your down down song.

“Brevity is the soul of wit,” is obviously a phrase unfamiliar to Normal, who told a longwinded “Little Johnny” joke that barely mustered a murmur from the crowd ("who’s the comedian with the black balls – Bill Cosby"). Whilst brevity may be the soul of wit it isn’t the absolute, as demonstrated by Fascinator who followed up with the very brief but equally poorly received joke, “give me 9 inches and make me bleed”..... The crowd was united in their utterances of “Bring back Dim Wit”

We then disbanded for a fabulous feed for BBQ chicken and salad whilst we watch the full moon rise in the North Eastern sky. For those who are interested this moon was actually a “Blue Moon” (second full moon of the month) with a Penumbral Lunar Eclipse visible from the USA. This late November moon is also referred to as the “Full Beaver Moon” by native Americans, which I think is nice.

Next week’s run: NutCracker from the Freight Bar – Please wear pink and be there by 6:15pm to order meals (Whatever happened to the 6:45pm start??)