Run 1989, Zoom#15, CoVid #13, Monday 6 July 2020, Hare Mrs Dickhead's run from the Sovereign Hill Lookout (Apologies for the delayed post)
Approximately 35 Hashers set off between 2pm and 4pm from the Magpie St entrance of the Sovereign Hill accommodation. The 5.4km trail looped around past Sovereign Hill, the Gold Museum and Llanberris before returning up past the Golden Point school and the Observatory. The drinks stop was a treat of chips and cold beverages situated at the rotunda atop the Sovereign Hill Lookout.
The 4pm exodus from the drink stop coincided with Dan Andrews announcing the hard lockdown of the Melbourne accommodation towers. I think our Premier then consulted Punxsutawney Phil and, having seen his shadow, announced 6 more weeks of lockdown for our friends down the highway. This rise in community COVID-19 brought about a return to the weekly Zoom Hash Circle
Zoom meeting was an intimate affair with only Spence, SS, Vibes, Bent, BP, Rowdy, D&C, Donuts, Fascinator, Num, Dumb, Fop, Her Vag, Campaspe, Pauline, Lois, Teflon, GILF and Fang signing in. The reduced numbers allowed for more open chats, and the gathering started with updates from Spence and SS about the health challenges facing Glider, Fang and The Bill’s wife. Our thoughts are with these elders of our Hash and we are sending all our love and support.❤️
Early discussions about the lockdown had Bent Nose reveal that he’d just lost his third holiday deposit of the winter, then Lois Lane lightened the mood with a Zoom background showing SS’s naked bum. At one stage she even managed to disappear all the way up his holiest of holes! (see pic)
As there was no Hare, no Sergeant and no Choir Master the evening was chaotic early. There was, however, the ever-reliable Screw and at 7:20 order was called for and Bent Nose took the floor.
The screw began with the lament at the lack of a hare, and thus an amount of the screwing was directed towards the Hare’s assistant, Lois Lane. Bent said the run was given an “E” rating before he had even started due to the crappy weather (once again! Lift your game R.A.). He then praised the location calling the Mt Pleasant / Golden Point region “Gods own country” but was disappointed that trail didn’t take him past his old primary school. He laughed at Lois who had failed to observe the Observatory; “It’s that big building with the domed roof!”. Points were deducted for trail crossing the Ballarat Harriers race that was being run simultaneously and re-added for the inclusion of exercise equipment (see pic). There was confusing trail pointing directly at a tree (see pic) and a giant horse’s arse which reminded him of a fellow Hasher (see pic). The final score for the run was a credibly e⁻¹ (one for the natural logarithm fans)
D&C was then called upon to announce “Sniffycunt runs” – SS 1721st run (which is remarkable being his 1700th run was last week!). Also mentioned were Bait 1444, Mrs D 626 and Just cum 10 (which Spencer somehow thought was the square root of 1??)
By now we were running out of Zoom time, so charges from the floor were called for:
BHD was charged in absentia as he has documented every Hash committee dating back to 1996
Bent was charged for his “hareless screw” (first in many years). Bent rebounded this to Pauline as he is very familiar with hareless screws. (Bent’s intimate knowledge of his sister-in-law’s glabrous parts is somewhat disturbing)
GILF was charged for 4thof July and Spence was charged for his old long haired photo (Hubba Hubba)
Num found a dead and shrivelled possum on the run, the only thing that hadn’t shrivelled was its balls. And Campaspee was charged for turning a 5km trail into 7.5km run. This was rebounded to Teflon who ended up doing the Harriers race circuit 3 times.
The evening finish with a joke…..
Q. What’s the difference between light and hard
A. It’s possible to sleep with the light on
Next week – Bent and BP
Venue: the rotunda near the fountain at the lake
Note: The drink stop will enforce 5 people maximum
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