Balls Up on a platter day on a Cox on a Plate Saturday.
Only forgivable because great races are everywhere over the Spring Carnival. We had our own Hasher’s Spring Mardi Gras Carnivale
all weekend.
Starting with a fellowship at Freight on Fridy followed
by a saunter from Seymour’s on Satdy. Pus
Bucket took us East, marched 10,000 men to the top of Black Hill and he marched
us down again. But when we were up we were up (to a scenic Drink Stop followed
by Dirges and Down Downs).
Pauline, Fluid Movement and Spence were welcomed
back. Dignitarios including Visiting GMs were sought for recognition. Cut Loose
and Astro were noted. A skinny prick known as Mortenson from Western Suburbs
was ostracised and Bent for providing only $20 for a Balls Up float.
Heavy screwed Pus in a Bucket with a song about to
the tune of Ghost Riders in the Sky. Yippie
ON ON, Yippie On Back, Hash Runners in the East.
A fresh furry Seargeant Spencer Hocking took the
floor. His old Bin Laden look with wooly grey hair and whisker look floored
many. Dumb &Dumber reckoned Shafted had
taken his fascination with Johnny Cash too far when he idiotically was goin’ to Jackson’s instead of the
Freight Bar Friday night.
Point of Order, Glider reckons we have zero chance
of getting sponsorship from Mount Zero Olives so I must make amends and amend acknowledgment
of the kind support of AXEDALE OLIVES
in bigger and bolder font, and make sure George experiences Hash patronage at
his produce stall at Springfest at Lake Wendouree this weekend.
A Wonderful Woman from Lakeside Ladies turned up delinquently.
She was In Salted that we left without her and turned up breathing Heavy with a
Sweaty Box. Eggs and Bacon Quiche Lorraine were on the menu and some women were
cycling periodically. Mounty mounted the microphone. Bait had a Blue Tonge. The
song was “if your girlfriend tastes like shit, roll her over. The wonderful weather
was religiously reknized as being awesome, (typical of Ballarat).
Nickelby’s Immortalised speech on the hand over to
Cut Loose was reminisced upon where he kindly thanked the CWA ladies for bringing a
plate. Coffin Box was spat out the front
as half of Ballarat Hash has been coughing their boxes off all Winter and into
Spring, even Superwoman Lois Lane.
We wandered down the woad to watch waces at the
Seymour places. Three Sweeps on the Cox Plate later saw a few linger longer til
the race was run and won by Adelaide.
Winners were Num Num, Pokey and Coffin Box got the big prize. Congrats. See you at the Balls Up…….
…….Beautifully ballooned balustrades led us up the
stairs to the registration table where we were adorned with green wristbands by
gorgeous organising girls Nummy and Lois. Mrs D and BP. As we entered the main room we were amazed to
be surrounded by the large colourfully painted mask faces perched on the walls.
Pauline’s pride of his created beauties was the Maori Miss with the tattooed
chin. Mounty ushered all to their allotted
tables with centre pieces, lollies, and wine.
There were “Balls Up 2014” stubby holders for all. Brightly decorated with
Mardi Gras mask on a Hash foot, and sponsors including S3 Promotions, Reptile
Gulch Motors, Greene’s TV Repair, and Tidy Group.
Spence, just a couple of hours before was whiskery Bin Laden lookalike of the afghani resistance, turned up unrecognizable as a 1960
Queen Elizabeth model. Very effeminate! There were several less-effeminate
whiskered women with Teflon coatings on their tongues. Jack-in-a-mask was there and Onon a magical night on the
top floor, FOP thought he could go higher, Lil Evil pulled a rabbit out of a
hat and they did the disappearing trick, turned into birds and flocked off.
Bait and Ms Fulton did a double duo thing in
diamond clown clothes. Twins Half & Baa licker were likewise conjoined. There
were three colourful Kids with bird pulling power that included a birthday
babe.
Prizes were awarded to a few of the dressed up
dags. FOP was sleek Her Vag was sexy with sweet beads. FOPS hairdo and face got
him a Miners Tavern voucher.
Dumb has a similar costume but looked like a chubby
Mike Myers from “The Mechanic who Shagged Me” and kept twiddling his one erect
nipple. Coffin Box was a sweet vessel of
orange-aide with a lil black talisman around her neck. Seamen Feeder with her
Red Hair and a hash foot tattoo on her shoulder from last Ballarat Balls Up won
an award. …..Grand Prize, Magnum donated by BP and Bent went to Tigermoth coming
as Miss Pinky Perky in tight pink panties with pert pink pushed up pretties and
pink feathered fascinator, she had considerable trouble getting the Mothballs
out of her costume.
Urban Myth never mithed a beat with their up-beat selection
of songs setting the Hash crowd swinging.
Salubriousness in the salon showed where Sweaty looked
to have found her niche on a groovy night. Tons of tongue lashings between Hash
groups could lead to and Ebola like epidemic of Whopping Cough cough cough
cough cough…when you start it’s hard to stop. But we had to eventually early on
Sunday Morning. On On.
