Tuesday, February 28, 2017

27 - 2 -'17           Run 1811           Mt Xavier Golf Club

MOUNTIE's  Post-Lube Nash Hash Run, or 
                                                        "Last piss-up for the remaining Piss-heads".
After a couple of pre-lubes, a very hoarse GM NUMMY, began proceedings
with a charge for JITTERBUG, who's had 5 runs & now knows everything - 
could be a budding BENT NOSE on the way !!
A drink for the 7 GM's present, then for the piss-pots from each Club.
Hare MOUNTIE announced that the run was short 'cos she's knackered.
Lots of runners took off into the East, while 5 bar-flys were left to 
organize the drink-stop. 20 walkers followed the 'pied piper' NORMAL on his
zig-zag stroll round the Golf Course, obviously looking for his lost golf balls -
think he picked up 3.
We all gathered at the well stocked drink-stop, of VB's, Carrrrlton, & the 
Athletic Club's Gold Rush Nash Hash Splash Cans.
At the On After, SS screwed MOUNTIE  for the walk, but "not sure about 
the run", & RA PUSBUCKET took one for the good weather. NORMAL had 
a drink for picking up golf balls & not offering them to MASTABAIT
"f**k MASTABAIT" he said - (but isn't that what he does each Friday Night?).
As Sergeant ROWDY took to the podium, the 1st of many "Hammersly takes
it up the arse" chants was heard. First charge was for NORMAL, seen 
(alledgedly) during the weekend in Ballarat, swapping red T shirts, then one
for BONER,  being extremely excited, seeing MOUNTIE's pert set of 60 (?)
yr old breasts. Then came the first of many chants from GRIZZLY ......
"Would you like to sit on my face .... or would you like to go .. down down" etc.
"Ya stupid, ya stupid .... if it wasn't for your Mother you'd be .. down down" etc.
DAZED & CONFUSED lost the ear ring, but where was it?
SPENCER HOCKING had a drink as 'Stroke' of the Down Down Crew, & 
SOS as the gun 'Skuller'. HALF A BAR was at the Mt Buninyong run, 
from top to bottom, & still got lost!!
Another Hammersly "Takes it up the arse ....."
BENT NOSE has never been wrong in his life, but he WAS wrong (what???)
about the tyres on NORMAL's car.
GRIZZLY again ... "Why was he born so beautiful, he's no f**kin' use
to anyone, he's no f**kin' use at all".
A rotation of "chefs" personed the BBQ, to fill the patrons with snags on 
bread, & hamburger rolls with meat, egg, bacon & onion - yum!! 
Well done 'Youse'.

That's it - you've had a fair go 'youse pricks',

Next week's run - GILF from 5 Ways, On After ? who knows?? Where
are you TEFLON ?

Monday, February 20, 2017

20 - 2 -'17             Run 1810           Athletic Club Bar

TEFLON's Pre Lube Nash Hash Run. SPENCER HOCKING assumed the
stand-in GM Position (complete with coat), seeing as NUMMY let the bar
crash to the ground again, (this time to put Family first !!). SPENCE
welcomed back Ballarat Hashers along with the Nash Hash Committee.
TEFLON briefed on the run ahead, & complimented PUSBUCKET on
coming back for the run, after sussing out the Nash Hash Bike Trail.
He said MASTURBAIT is in charge of the walkers "Put your hand up
MASTURBAITER" & straight away 8 hands went up !! About 20 runners
headed off into the fabulous East, soon to find the Eureka Flag at the
roundabout & the "these feet" chant. We met up with 20 odd (odd??) 
walkers at the well stocked drink-stop by the Eastern Oval.
At the On-After, welcomes back for FOP, HER VAGESTY, FLUID 
visitors included WEE WEE, GOANNA?, ADELAIDE et al .......
Nash Hash Committee all had a drink, including Ballarat Reps 
Big charge for ROWDY with 1100 runs.
Recent registrations for the Red Dress Run were SOS & EVIL.
All Ballarat Hash had a drink to which no-one could real off their names!!
SS screwed TEFLON for the run & a good walk that included the Southern
Cross chant & a visit to M.A.D.E.
Sergeant ROWDY charged STUBBY for his finally gaining Title to 
the Brewery, & SPENCER HOCKING for all of his Nash Hash work.
Sniffycants of 1810? - Napoleon married 19 yr old Marie Louise,
Archduchess of Austria.
DR DEATH & MOUNTIE caused a stir last week for hiding the money tin,
& DUMBER for the snake in the car episode.
FUCKED IF I KNOW had a rebound drink for his rant over the 'Odds &
Evens' numbers in Ballarat streets & FLUID MOVEMENT complained
about Ballarat's cold weather - now that she's living in Canberra !! 
A drink also for those not yet charged (what ??), DAZED & CONFUSED,

Have a good Nash Hash 'youse pricks'.

Next week's run - Post Nash Hash - Xavier Golf.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

6 - 2 -'17             Run 1808            South Gardens

PUSBUCKET's run & cricket match. The 'athletes' took off towards the 
Lake, as 10 bar flys were left to quench thirsts, & watch as the 'late'
SHAFTED arrived, complete with Hash BBQ Trailer, & ride-on mower -
did he think the Council was remiss with the lawn cut, or had 
Brian Blood thrown a spanner in the works?
Back at the On After, we all lined up Guard of Honour style, with our
'poppers', to honour MOUNTIE's 1000th. NUMMY then welcomed back
SS screwed PUSBUCKET & quickly made him realize that the East 
isn't as good as the West after all. The trail was well marked, even 
paused at the statues of Bodgy 'Hawke' & Liar 'Juliar', & a good
Drinkstop, although wearing the R.A. hat, the weather hadn't been
particularly well ordered.
Charges, post cricket match, were for DR DEATH, who should be
renamed SUDDEN DEATH for his stumpings, ROWDY's fully decked
out in creams & HALF A BAR going to ground after his big trip up.
The sad passing of PENNY FARTHING's husband Pat Hope was
also recognized.
Sergeant ROWDY's charges were for SHAFTED, as HEAVY had a 
free ride to Melbourne, & again for HALF A BAR going arse over head.
'1808' and SPENCER HOCKING & PIMP drank up for the 'Rum Rebellion',
(only successful armed takeover of the Government). 
Waitangi Day saw the Kiwi's LOIS LANE & BP celebrating, NUMMY 
for the women footballers playing like men & BENT NOSE for the 4
Essendon players getting their cars stolen ( guess the crims thought
that being Essendon cars, there'd be plenty of drugs around!).
REAR ENTRY won $500, so now he's probably only $1000 down.
R.A. PUSBUCKET got rid of the rain, so now it's looking like good
weather for Nash Hash - FANG a pathetic charge. DR DEATH looked
Regal in his Bowler Hat & REAR ENTRY got out of PIMP's Essendon
sponsored car, but saw no 'Greene' signs at all. LOIS LANE celebrated
her 38th Anniversary & had seen a 'Cockatoo !!' (woohoo).
PIMP had a 4 page tell all article in a mag & REAR ENTRY for Bernadi
leaving the Liberal Party. PIMP had a 4th drink as he'd mentioned
(as a very poor HashMan !!), that 3 was enough, SILIC for his 
judgement at the cricket, & MASTABAIT for wanting to carve up the field.
DR DEATH & HALF A BAR won the cricket, but HALF A BAR was on
the podium without even scoring, & PEBBLES was Man of the Match.
So as not to stray from tradition, Security arrived at the end to check
on our behaviour, & we all bought the cans from behind our backs
as he shook hands & joked with 'Old Mate' DR ROWDY.

Next week's run - Pebbles, from home.