Thursday, January 29, 2015

RUN 1702 Venue: State Foster Road then Post Office Road Hare: Donuts 26 January 2015

From a new starting point, we met Donuts just up the road from his previous run's parking area.  A great Aussie Day Bush run up hill and down dale with long stints between checks and halts, it was a links type run to keep running on. The Billy Goat and Shafted took separate paths to mitigate the risk of losing both Masters at once.  The shorter one’s short cut wasn’t so one was nearly lost and the search posse was just setting off to search when woddy waddled wound the woad to the Drink Stop.
Back to PO Rd it was, fire in the hole, (not from curry). We perched over the familiar view. Ballarat to the north and Buninyong to the east.  Welcome Backs to Hoppawati and Remote who volunteered to sizzle the Harriers leftover sausage sizzle snags we acquired via Rowdy’s Randy Bit.  We also had Pebbles roll back in to fill Donuts hole.
Along with a couple of palindromes and coincidental 1009s for Royal twins Prince Rowdy and Princess Mountie (a self confessed “Stornch Publickan”), we had a Royal re-visit of Donuts 600 from the other night.
Having recently lost his spare tyres, Donuts was presented with two big donut shaped floatie tyres.  We found out who found the spare tyres as Lois and Silic hunted high and low to find the tubes, model them them, then one nut got stuck in his!
Australian’s all let us ring Joyce! Shave off your Pubic Hair! Heavy had added some culture and pubic interest to the public’s Anthem for Donut’s Australia day run.  So much so that we will never hear it again without singing “Shave off your Pubic Hair” instead of “Advance Horse Trailer Fair”.
As the entire is select, the entire will published be on a separate blog instead of right hair, right now.
Rumour has it that Tony Habit flew in to pubicly congratulate the new MR and MRS BAA on the weekend at their “Wedding of the Year”. And, that Tony, having conferred widely, left a royal scroll with security for Ballarat Hash Sovereignty Australia Day awards to be presented by Sir Prince Fillip Rowdy with Crown and Sceptre.
Heavy was first on the list to take an award and drink for his services to services and to creative composition. Lois Lane took one for him and in his absence was to read out his acceptance speech.  “It’s an honour your honour and I wish I was more often on her than off her but I’ll take up your offer as once a knight was once enough but now it all too tough so I take a peek just once a week and occasionally sniff her snuff.  So Shave off your Pubic Hair!”
Mrs Dickhead was awarded for her services to the Jasonic Lodge and bringing youth along to lower HHH average age.  Precious got an Australia Day hat to help him get ahead in life though he will struggle to get that mop of long and curlies into it.
SS was knighted Sir SS thus became SSS for his gallant efforts to rid local waters of introduced fish species. Mastabait was renamed Sir Twitcher for his verve for bird watching.  Flamboyant bird, Princess Mounty wouldn’t play the game and thus became Fanny Twitcher
Tony’s personal message for the Last lonely Rear Entry and his OBE got lost, as did he, so we were left to decipher the faded ink to see what scent to Silic but could only detect BO.
Glider had a drink for his passed on Bro-In Law, sympathies to Exit for the loss of her brother
After watching the Fireworks from afar with the simulcast FM radio accompaniment , the chill set in so we adjourned for Spit Roasts and Salads.
Next Week’s Run: Pus Bucket
Theme; By Jiminy, The Cricket Event of The Year
Venue; Sparrow Ground, Spencer Street Ballarat East/Canadian

Sunday, January 25, 2015

RUN 1701 Venue: Codes Forest Road Hare: LOIS LANE 19 January 2015

Up Kelly’s Lane or out through the Creswick forest, whichever way, we all met at an unmarked intersection on Codes Forest Road.

Lois set us off on a bit of a bush baash run set off along the east side of the range and back along the west side with some interesting tracks though pine plantations and eucalypt forest.  We had a view of the setting sun through the silly-o-wet of Mounties burger bum.  A visual treat to enjoy with a drink at the stop manned by Pauline.

Back at the circle, Pauline had a drink for his 191 run as did Half a Bar had a 69 on top of his 1000.

Heavy sent his simply pretty ditty in from Leonora to tune of Edelweiss;

Lois Lane, Lois Lane,

Every morning sister greets you

Her house is small and white, clean and bright

And she never looks Happy to see you

When are you going to build a house of your own?

And move out for ever.


Lois Lane and Pauline

Please move out forever


Rowdy returned from his beach break to look after some charging as Spence and a hunk of Hash cycling fans were following the tour down under in SA.

He did a “Pot Calling the Kettle Black” number on Mrs Dickhead for her “as a friend” comments about Mountie’s silhouette in tights.

In recognition of his last HHH run as a single man, Half a Bar had a fair few slurps as a kind of half-a-bucks do. Lois told a version the mother daughter Sportsman’s Special joke.

Silic was blamed for poisoning Boot last week with the Sav slip up. Donuts and Silic wouldn’t shut up planning spit roast for next run.  SS was entwined with some reference to orphan Annie.  Rear Entry stood in as GrogMaster and was going OK until he insanely started tipping out glasses of beer.

Munching on marinated chicken Kebabs followed by schnitzels in rolls was followed by a sweet with buckets of fruit, cream and marshmallows.  The wind chill factor soon clicked in and scattered the crew.

Next Week’s Run: Donuts Shave a Snatch for Charity

Theme; Australia Day Run

Venue; State Forest Road then Post Office Road Ross Creek. $2 Donation Drinks!!

Friday, January 16, 2015

RUN 1700 Venue: Five Ways Hare: SS 12 January 2015

Momentous occasion of the 1700th Run of Ballarat Sovereign Hash warranted splashing out on little Savs and shouting drinks at Five Ways.  Anyone that didn’t know where that was just had to drive along White Swan Road until they found Billy Goat’s car; the pretty new one that is greeeeen (very green).

We gathered at the usual place trailer all set up with eskies of drinks on ice and had a couple to settle the nerves.  SS ran us OnOn over the road marked with burn-outs (not his), past the dirt bikes, into the moist forest that smelled of dank rubbish, down to the track along the cyclone fence past more rubbish dumps by the White Swan reservoir including piles of asbestos sheet. A bit of an exposé of the crap happening on the outskirts of town but a great run on a lovely evening.  The Drink Stop was back near the bitumen in the SShaggin wagon just in sight of the greeen machine.

There had been many lewd references about “Five Ways” to have “Little Boys” with Spencer Hockling called on to elaborate.  Lo and behold, surprise surprise! It was up to One Nutty Keeper of the Meat, Silic, who came up with a sixth way to have them; rolled in gravel and sprinkled with rotten gum leaves.  “It was all going right until it went wrong” he said.

We circleded around the HHH trailer to try the savs tucked neatly into Fluid Movement tight little moose burger buns and smothered in tomato and mustard sauces a la Jack style.

SOS and Little Evil were welcomed back., Inaugural runners and several old buggers had a drink with Hare SS, having attended 88% of all the Ballarat Sovereign Hash runs since formation, a formidable feat likely to send anyone footsore.

Heavy was looking forward to performing his long anticipated Danny Boy for SS Boy but had to tend to his gold boring job in Leonora so the tune was left to a cobbled together choir of Hash Rabble that has been imbibing the plentiful alcohol.   What a performance! Half a Bar was half a bar behind, Silic was half a bar behind Half a Bar and Rear Entry was bringing up the Rear way behind Silic.  This threw everyone else out of kilter so the scramble bikes going by sounded sweeter.  Anyway, Heavy and Rowdy will be asked to deliver the tune more succinctly and solemnly on their return. Start practicing doc.

Oh SS boy, the FISH, the FISH are calling
The summer's gone, and all the FISH ARE LEAVING
Tis you tis you must walk while others ride.

But come ye back when FULL MOONS AT the LAKE SIDE
And when the WINDS ARE hushed and MUDEYES ON THE GO
AND YOU’LL BE There, in sunshine or in shadow
Oh SS boy, oh SS boy, FISHING’S HOOKED, you so………………..

……………………And I shall hear, your soft ON ON calls, around me…
And all my hash runs, will richer, sweeter be…
For you will talk…. Non-stop… in every cir…cle…
And tell of… the one’s that got away… to me.

Oh SS Boy, Oh SS Boy we… Love …you… So….

Seargeant Spence had plenty of lubed up chargers from all over the place as we slogged through the coopers and crownies. There was slagging off about tiling between our Tidy man and Bent, so proud of his fake chim-chimney? 

Rear Entry and Silic matched “a pair of arseholes” with “a parasol”. Bad Hair Day was engrossed in Fluid’s buns and found some amongst the dumped rubbish.  Spartacus showed off his yellow mini Romas.
Mars Cycle Classic winner, Heinrich Hemel Haussler should have been at HHH but sent renowned Cycle stuntman and Hitler Lookalike Pus Bucket to stand in for him.
Snag, having literally bitten the dust, had chipped teeth and bloody top lip scars looking like a little Hitler Mo.  Dangerous things those bikes. Even Criss Cross has unhandled his handle bars in favour of Dragon Boating.

Roll on to the latish On After  at Top Eureka for some tucker and lots more wine, so much that Fluid Movement splashed out and shared some around.

Next Week’s Run: Lois Lane’s Ladies Limp of the Hung Over Hash Tarts

Theme;  Half a Bars Buck’s Bang as Lois Lane looms LX

Venue; Kelly’s Lane in the Creswick Forest.  East off Creswick Road, up Kelly’s Lane. The ON ON in the bush will be like a mutt in a merkin. Keep looking till you find it.  Watch out for the Hash sign, The Bill’s green Car and follow the coloured ribbons. Dollar Drinks!!

Saturday, January 10, 2015

RUN 1699 Venue: Jindabyne Street Hare: Fluid Movement 5 January 2015

The first run of the New Year was at the Jindabyne Street site up near the Water Towers where Fluid Movement had the Red Dress Run from last year. From here on this year the nearest bitumen road to the ON ON will be marked by a big green sign in the form of Billy Goat’s new car!

West, north, west again, around the towers with some strategic scenic halts, east back to the Billy Goat’s Bitumen back along Doodt’s. Further east along the road with the significant roadside vegetation sign ironically camouflaged amongst the rampant Gorse and Pine saplings.  Walkers cut back along the road to the drink stop while the runners navigated a significant roadside pine forest with colourful paint marking the path so no one got lost in the pine forest never got lost in the pine forest never got lost in the pine forest never got lost in the pines.  The Drink Stop in a green green patch of more significant roadside gorse.

The circle was formed within the protective wagon train circle of vehicles, (except for the green one down the road).

Bubba and Forest were welcomed back for their on again off again running relationship (with Forest understandably preferring to be more often on again).

Significant indeed was Donut’s 6 0 0.  A milestone he reckons has come round quickly, like a record, and we don’t see dees much anymore.  I tuned in to what he was saying so we intend more fully re-recognise this significance at his much anticipated Australia Day Run. Dumb had a 949 Spencerdrome, and even the odd date was ssspecified by SS asss another Spencerdrome 5115.

Heavy screwed the run and found himself singing about Fluid Movement for the second time in 6 months. She had gone from Roy’s “Pretty Woman” to Rod’s “Sailing”;

She is sailing,……. She is sailing,
Across Lake,……..Wendoureee,
Filled with water and Fluid Movement,
That just may have come from me!

Spence took over from recent Seargeant stand-ins as Rowdy took relief from practicing and Bent Nose practiced faking characterless straight chimney?

Dumb and Dumber for some reason saw fit to prove he could read from a newspaper cutting in fading light.  Mrs D claimed Spence wasn’t the first (to recognise palindromes) though Heavy has renamed them Spencerdromes.

Precious charged Silic for having more balls than brains.  Silic cleverly countered by challenging Precious to a ball kicking competition.

KFC chunks of chicken and some salad satisfied the whoards. Spencer Hocking liked the idea of five ways with little boys so we will have the forgotten rolls next week at Five Ways as a 1700th run treat along with free drinks!!

Next Week’s Run: SS Theme;  1700 RUNS & SS’s 88 per cent  Venue Five Ways, White Swan Road, Free Drinks and Savs then on after at Top Eureka (Look out for the Hash sign and The Bills Car at the turn off)

Saturday, January 3, 2015

RUN 1698 Venue: Loch Avenue Hare less Jack and Flo Jo 29 December 2014

Though without many regulars the gang was balanced with an influx of visitors and returnees.  (for example; Sorry was absent without an apology so Brother Warrick slotted in with Jack and Flo Jo.  A couple, Reary and Sil slinked off leaving Bad Hair Day and Rowdy to bond. Couples Gilf/Teflon and Karen/Heavy slipped in to fill the breach.)  We also had Bungie bounce back and Faucet in all the way from Broome.

The recyclable bin was in a challenging position beyond the veranda, the roof of which consequently had to be used as a backboard to bounce a stubby off to land it in the bin. Not for the feint hearted but it earned an idiot a drink.

Coincident runners were NUM and FOP sparking rumours by both hitting 375. Also copping a drink coincidently were Bungie and The Bill.

Heavy screwed the run that set off north, threatened to go east, cut across the city, hospitalised us then we had to have a drink with Duncan.  Then while Jack and Flo Jo spiced up their marriage and the little boys with onion, mustard, AND sauce Heavy hit on a Frank Sumatra hit about “Love and Marriage” ;

Jack & Flo Jo, Jack and Flo Jo
Jack might be bald but he still has his mojo

……………..Just ask, Flo Jo
Because if it’s gossip, she’ll know.

Rowdy and Bent Nose were coincidently called on to fulfil Sergeanting duties with collective professional wit, each contributing a halfwit. 

Snag rolled in late on his bike showing off his six pack.

A BBQ with a difference followed. The burgers were better cos we were Hungry Jack!  The flourless orange cake was pretty sweet too!

Upon getting up to go Nummy’s bottled up frustration with Dumb’s habit of breaking wine glasses burst forth and she showed him how to do it with a wine bottle exploding as it hit the floor.  It got everyone’s attention. (She should have just bounced it off the veranda roof into the bin!).

Next Week’s Run: Fluid Movement  Theme;  Jindabyne Thrust  Venue Jindabyne Street, off Doodts from Black Hill or Alkera from Invermay, near the Water Towers

RUN 1697 Christmas Run; Venue: Reptile Gulch Motors Doveton St Hare: Dumb and Nummy 22 December 2014

Mr Hanky, the Christmas poo, has had a rest and can now catch up on the festive Blogs.  All dressed in red, white, green and Christmassy things; we met at Reptile downstairs in the salubrious Car-Over Lounge.  From there we embarked on a simple but eventful little jaunt.

Sprint to Seymour’s upstairs, $50 of pots poured quickly for the first in. Welcome back Forrest and Bubba. A couple of carols then fast to the Freight Bar, upstairs, more pots lined up, sung some carols and we then headed four skin see and serf where Boot Laces hosted and shouted beer for quite a while.  We had some charging and chugging. “Hark; the herald angels sing, Spence has torn another ring.”

On to I wish Murphy’s where Normal invited himself to sit and sup at the smorgasbord of tasty tarts.  Some shirt swapping was enacted with Morgan’s friend.  Carols came thick and fast.

Up to the Grand for last port of call and some carrollingus before the on-home to Car-Over for dinner and more drinks and everything ran like clockwork. Orange and red party lights, music and all.  The only charging then was battery charging for the powered wheel chair of a buddy we picked up along the way. (Reary was beside himself with disconcerted non-concern and much ado about nothing?) He said; “You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry. You’d better not pout I’m telling you why. Rear Entry comes from behind”

More and more drinks and Wowdy singing his widdle heart out till the last there saw Tuesday and wandered home?  “Cum she told me I’m Dumber and Dumb.” Our wonderful hosts, Dumb and Num Num were then free to lock up and leave for their own cosy cot.

Next Week’s Run (that was 29 Dec): Jack and Flo Jo   Theme;  Danish Blue   Venue Loch Avenue